It was the interview for her last shooting of Friends. She was still smiling. But she couldn’t act really happy. She said she even hadn’t thought about what the morning would be, after the 10-years amazing things ended. Then she was asked, whether she knew there was a famous superstar talked about his first date with the woman of his dream in another interview someday ago. She said she didn’t know. Then it was Brad shown in the screen next to her, saying; it was fantastic, when you first met, and the first touch…That’s the love… She smiled again, with the real happiness on her face. She said they’d have kids in the future, at least two. She said she loved kids. They deserved the time of her career. I thought she knew, that life would go on. The 10-year fantasy ended while the future would come along,

Two years later she was interviewed by the same person. She smiled like she always did. She said, it was peaceful, no anger, no war, no mean terrible shallow thing. Maybe she forgot the first interview she had there. Maybe she did not. It just felt so sad if Brad’s word was reminded again. Those sweetest feelings with moving promises, that made everyone believe the real love, had gone forever. It was another page turn. She had many amazing girlfriends around her telling her what not to do. She said she still believed in marriage and love, and she still would have children in the future. She was ok if the time came late. So she moved on as she had to. Although this time everything was more harmful and overwhelming than 2 years ago, she still survived and had the most beautiful smile on her face. She was still the woman of men’s dream. Life does go on, doesn’t it?

That’s the thing I get from Aniston. Life is unpredictable. The only thing you can control is always your beliefs. No matter how things end badly, with huge hurt going on with you for long a time, you still have yourself. Sometimes things even change your beliefs. Even if you give up what you’ve been insisting on, or you had to leave where you prefer to stay forever, your life still goes on as always. The every second is running in your life no matter you like it or not. You feel uncomfortable, painful, even hopeless because you are not used to the things you are forced to face. You know what’s worse? You are always alone. People may give you a hand, a warning, a tip, but people don’t have to. Everything is dealt with by yourself, and you have to spare some time to appreciate the help from others too. It was harsh, wasn’t it? But that’s just life.

It’s good to still believe in love. It’s good to like the going on life. That’s the moment for you to take a deep breath, and reboot. And you’ll find something new, sooner or later. Just hang in there, the best is yet to come.

3 years ago, I was studying in Law School of Nanjing University. It was a great uni in a beautiful city with huge histories centuries-old. The campus was beyond the town. I had a great time there, sharing secrets with my roomy darlings, meeting someone special, organizing some interesting social life, or something like that. I wasn’t planning to leave until that day I had a dream with someone in it. The dream was so real that I thought that was from my heart. I didn’t know I’d have a great future if I stayed and worked hard. I didn’t know what would happen if I just left everything I’d already had behind. But I left anyway. I told my parents I wanted to go because there was no future for me to expect in that place. And I wanted to find a better one. I thought I did it because I listened to my heart. I knew what I really wanted. Well, truly I was in love with someone far away. My heart was full of him and his everything. I couldn’t wait for any more days to see him, to be with him.

It was silly, wasn’t it? Do you know what is sillier? It was the time when I was in the city with him, being able to see him and his someone else. Yes, you are right. I was that idiot. I gave up my bachelor of law, my stable and wealthy future and my happy college life. I went to a strange city far beyond my hometown and started everything from scratch. But the reason crashed as it was meant to be. Someone that I made all these decisions for got married and changed totally. I was really alone since then. I went so far away to see the painful truth that I can barely believe. I followed my heart to experience a disaster. People kept asking me the reason that I left Nanjing and came to this city. I lied every time. I said I didn’t like there. I didn’t like law. I didn’t like my life in Nanjing. I thought the denial could make me strong. I had to be strong, so I could forget the things I defined as humiliation.

Guess what? I survived. I even can see my great future again. I met someone else and fell in love. I shared my dream, my happiness and fears with him in this new life. The better thing is I’m brave enough to confess my past. All the mistakes and humiliation dare I admit now. I'm able to admit because the reason no longer exists. The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference. I still remember but I don't care any more. I am still here because I came here by mistake and I decide to stay because there is something brand new leading me to much happier life. I don’t lie any more. I want to be grown-up, eventually.

Things change, all the time. My heart may make mistakes, but it never betrays me. If you feel it wrong, sometimes, when you do something following your heart, you just wait for another minute. Don’t stall your chances to see the truths. They might be horrible, but it is worth seeing them. I have to say I’m damn lucky to stand up at where I fell. I’m lucky to see it and forget it. I’m lucky to find someone else worth loving. He loves me because he knows the real me. He knows the little girl’s heart and what she’s been through. He follows his heart too. So I dare to say I’m not an idiot if I still believe. I never deny my heart and my passion. I’m never a traitor.

If you’re struggling in a dilemma, wondering what you really want, please listen to your heart. Your heart might change mind from time to time. It doesn’t mean you don’t believe any more.

Words can make you strong. Maybe you don’t speak fluent native language, maybe you don’t have that much to say, but at least you can let people know your voice, even if that’s noise, it really doesn’t matter. Just say it, you’re not happy, and you need time to question and explain. I’ve tried. It really worked. If you don’t, that’s fine too. But please be prepared, as you’ll have to be more silent the next time.